6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize