Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
