The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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