I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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