I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
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martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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