Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
