We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
