well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
