i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The adults are the big ones right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
