i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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