id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
