Me too!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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