Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
