you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
BRING THE BAGELS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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