no, he came in my armpit
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize