so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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