that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize