I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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