i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
