All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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