it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
