Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
