wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
