high people should be assigned attendants
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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