so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
