What tipped you off? The sombrero?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
