so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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