Man, jail baloney is awful.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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