Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
