doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
