Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
