I smell stomach acid.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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