well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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