I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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