and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
