1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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