My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
