In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
