I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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