and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
