that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Damn victory sex feels great
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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