You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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