I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
