you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is wine microwaveable?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize