Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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