I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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