do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
love makes seman taste better
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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