I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
