I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
