just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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