FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
