I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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