i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize