I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
