i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
