"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
