How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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