ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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