hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
