I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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