Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
