i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
