I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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