Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think I won the penis lottery.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
