Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
