I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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