is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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